Category: Tears

Drama on Reddit

Miners love to post about me.

I guess I’m famous.

Wow, that sounds fascinating…

Thanks for the input, Carebear Federation!

ReeeeEEE!

Oh no!

Highsec salt is plentiful.

I have quite a few fans.

That’s right.

Year #5 – still going strong.

Hey, somebody noticed!

Haha, yup, they got me figured out.

Oh noooo!

Facts.

Another 2009 newplayer crybaby.

What does that even mean?

That’s right.

We discriminate against miners.

It’s like shooting terrorists in Call of Duty.

Well, that’s an interesting counterpoint…

Gankers are like Rushlock, but with PvP.

I actually have quite a few fans.

It’s like a comedy club in Highsec.

Apparently, the Redditeers began arguing.

I hope they calm down.

I do wish my mother paid more attention to me.

Sick burn, bro!

At least I’m the best player in the history of the game.

Feliz Navidad!

I guess it’s that time of year.

That’s right.

That’s also right.

Of course, some people lack holiday spirit.

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

I’m probably gonna have fun.

I even learned a cute new spell.

Cheerzahcadabbra!

Another happy miner.

I love to help.

xD

Where will he go next?

Yria is Syria, Part 2

Yria is Syria, Part 1

Silent Company had a lot to say.

So I sent bumpers after them.

Eons ago, James 315 was a bumper.

One bump can change the course of a fleet.

It took John E McCain, just four days to subdue Greater Ottawasa.

Local went empty.

On Day 5, Phoebe Beeblebrox tried to break the blockade.

Georgia B Dixie (aka John E Normus) was on the case.

The illegal miners were escorted away.

An empty belt is a compliant belt.

To maintain tranquility, Georgia would cloak after each bump.

Spooky!

To be continued…

ArchyZavr Sells A Mining Permit

We’ve met Archy before.

Archy was the guy who funded Aikotown.

After swiping his credit card, Archy got bored.

He recycled his Jita trade alt, into a ganking alt.

PvP, not wealth accumulation, is the real game.

Isk can buy ships, but it can’t buy fun!

That’s right.

Abduleljudiopalestino tried to scam Archy.

We gave Abdul some legal advice.

However, he immediately tried another poverty scam.

Sometimes, you have to start small.

…then you can get the rest.

Another satisfied customer.

I was ready to make delivery.

He never did complete his delivery payments.

It was a real learning experience.

I wish him all the best in EvE Online.

=PLOT TWIST=

Abduleljudiopalestino > scammers veteran im fucking noob

Abdul is not a new player, he’s just a dumb vet.

Newbro Archy outplayed a guy with years of experience.

Nice job Archy.


Christmas Deathwish

Listening to: Precious

EvE Online has some interesting characters.

Sometimes they go too far.

This is the story of Longtooth the Miner.

Hey there.

Normally, carebears use a Vexor.

He found me attractive.

Never trust a man who mines in Highsec.

He actually was a new player.

Barely eighteen years old…

Just another antisocial sociopathic CEO in EvE Online.

We soon learned a shocking truth…

This guy is a total pleb.

Just then, Good Girl Kara tried to stick up for me.

Oof!

Just a typical Highsec miner.

At least he’s not mad.

He’s just… not well in the head.

What a guy.

Cheerzah!