Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Yesterday, we stared into the abyss.
Was this the end of the galaxy?
Novus Ordo antigankers tried to report gankers for pulling, but the EVE community came together and defended our Highsec traditions.
All is well!
We celebrated by exploit dunking in Uedama.
Here’s a video!
In other news, an Orca had a Safety incident.
Safety inspectors are investigating.
Let’s examine the SRP request.
Ah, I found the problem…
You were trying to run your own business.
Safety first, always!
Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.
Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.
I don’t mind the attention.
I’m here to help.
Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
That’s the truth!
I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).
What can I say?
You can’t deny success.
zoriad had a little problem.
His spaceship was melted, by neutron radiation.
It was a special ship, with a special purpose.
Unfortunately, he broke the law.
zoriad was dead, and it was his own fault.
Like most miners, zoriad denied his true mining nature, and insisted that he was just practicing with an exploration industrial.
Now it was time to quit the game, forever.
Like most miners, zoriad is dying of cancer.
It had taken a full month to build his ship.
Now he could never expore again.
Goodbye zoriad.
I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.
James 315 knows the truth. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to die, so we could move on.
My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. These former fans praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.
Let me be clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.
I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in this mining permit? Puh-leez. Here we witness a forgery.
Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is
Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…
So I killed the illegal miner.
Whadda was disgusted.
What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?
Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?
Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.
This is why James left me in charge, not you.
Cheers!
Luci Gotti lost a freighter.
So he sent an assassin to kill Sargon.
The assassin was a ganker, but not a very good one.
My elite antigankers always win, with 0 damage.
Afterward, there were some emails.
I guess the assassin is also an ice miner?
Remember, bulkheads go around your cargo hold, not inside it.
There’s really only one response.
It’s guaranteed to get a response.
Always!
Previously, in Highsec… someone has been hunting down blingy furry marauders, snuffing out their pitiful yiffs in a dark abyss…
The EVE community was in shock.
Subsequently, Victor Medvil (a powerful Highsec miner, with advanced military-industrial skills) began publicly denouncing me.
Since I am open-minded, I wondered if this were true. This was my #METOO moment. The truth about Aiko was out! My organization was orchestrating an intergalactic conspiracy of mental illness related sexual abuse. Allegedly.
Reporters were requesting my appearance on the Intergalactic News Network, where I was expected to admit my involvement in sexual terrorism.
I drafted a response, but it felt empty and hollow. Something was missing. I needed to find a way to prove, once and for all, that I am pure Heroin.
Suddenly, an idea came to me. I would set myself an impossible task, a feat that would even impress James 315. I would convince staticfxx’s boydogfriend to calm down, accept me as High Princess, and purchase a mining permit.
Some people say that I’m a witch.
That’s right.
This is how it’s done.
I’m a miner’s best friend.
I’m here to help!
I’m the best.
I’ve sure come a long way.
Would you like to know more?
That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.
Everybody knows what happened.
Sometimes, these things happen.
Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.
Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.
Feel free to join me.
We can have a lot of fun.
You know what I mean?
It’s gonna be great.
I’m Aiko!
Thanks for the support!
That’s right!
As with the old MinerBumping blog, there is often rancorous debate over who deserves acknowledgement, when, why, and how much.
As always, shoutouts are available for the low price of just 1 billion per shoutout. As an example, I will give a PAID shoutout to Bei QiAo. If I had a hat, I’d tip it, but I don’t. You are doing a great job buddy, keep up the good work.
非常好
WE NOW RETURN
TO OUR REGULAR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE
Rusell has been antiganking for awhile.
He’s not very good at it.
James 315 found Rusell amusing. I would know, because we’d stay up late at night, holding hands and talking about the blog.
James was right all along… Rusell is an odd duck. My sources in the antiganking community tell me that he has been trying to rile them up against me (me!), as a part of a campaign to literally remove PvP from Highsec.
Even dedicated antigankers find him to be an extremist.
Now that I’ve become James 315 (in real life, but not in game), Rusell has found himself orbiting me endlessly, at all hours of the day. Wherever I go, there he is! He doesn’t do much, but he is awful chatty.
Recently, I told him of my plans for an Aiko statue.
Like James before me, Rusell awaits my inevitable permaban.
Rusell positively hates me!
I’m next on his list.
Why did Rusell become a career antiganker?
He’s a very private man.
However, he recently opened up about his feelings.
He likes Notepad, and hates PvP.
We had a private conversation.
He apologized profusely.
I now have his explicit consent to gank.
He left me with one piece of advice.
If you have official private communications for the CODE. alliance (not for me), feel free to contact Aiko, and I will summarize for James 315. Such manifestos are typically rambling and incoherent, but I’ll highlight the best part.
Ok! This is a common trait.
Likewise, Coach Subway is back, and he is not easily embarrassed either.
I’m sure glad to be in my alliance.
It feels pretty darn good.
Of course, things could be better.
Those who know me, are aware I’m a little disappointed with how some people are choosing to spend their time in this alliance.
It’s most disappointing. I shall have to go all out on some modifications. However, I am proud of myself, and those of you who are doing good work. Lately, I’m thinking of Gurt, Barnes, and Aveve. If I had a hat, I’d tip it.
Someday, I will look back on this, as our era of trials and tribulations, when we had to endure every humiliation and disgrace. People thought we weren’t a real alliance, just a carboncopy of a silly meme from 2012. Apparently, there are those who just value their secret nullsec operation a little more than our unimportant Highsec alliance. All of these people will fall in line, or they will be gnashing their teeth.
CODE. always had this same problem. Some people, it seems, just don’t take pride in their alliance, because their main isn’t even it. They’ve got some other alliance, that they value more. Isn’t that right?
We will defeat the carebears. All of them.
It’s my birthright.
Oh yes, Vily. I’ll keep you nice and SAFE.
My business is Highsec business, and I mean business.
When I discovered Tathar mining in an 0.9, I was absolutely disgusted. He’s been playing since 2011, and mining in an 0.9!
I finally got his attention.
He was ashamed. However, when asked to purchase a mining permit, Tather began to extort me. He threatened to quit, unless he could mine for free!
Meanwhile, he worried I might shoot his ship (again).
Perhaps I might give it back, if he obeys the law?
Tathar wanted his ship, but he didn’t like having to pay for it. He just wanted to relax, and make isk while doing something else.
We had a little debate about governance and property rights.
I had to exert my authority.
He prophesied that EVE is dying, and it is Aiko, Destroyer of Miners, who will be the ultimate undoing of the AFK caste.
I tried one last time to be reasonable.
Some people say I’m a beeutiful witch. Bzzbzz.
That’s right. I’m a wasp.
Pay me.
It works like a charm.
It’s not roleplay.
This is serious space business.
