Oh boy, it’s Sunday, a day of rest in honor of when James created Highsec. It’s the perfect time to relax and acknowledge that the mighty New Order is dunking carebears into oblivion. It’s what they deserve. It’s what James 315 wants. It’s also what I want, and what any reasonable person wants. Here’s a video!

Gigacus Gank

Highsec miner Gigacus was desperately trying to compete with NPC miners, and  pleased to finally have an audience on his stream. However, the only people who watch Highsec mining streams are elite CODE. scouts (and people who enjoy watching miners face justice). Maybe he would have noticed James, if he was actually looking at his computer monitor. Did you know James is permabanned?

A few friends ate his retriever, and Gigacus tried to use the old “I’m having a real life tornado” excuse. Miner, tornadoes do not justify AFK mining! Gigacus tried to play off the gank like he didn’t care, but I could hear anguish in his voice, “Really, guys?” Oh yes, Gigacus — really! Permits are definitely a thing. I hope Gigacus understands that Princess Aiko does not approve of his inappropriate language.

I particularly enjoyed hearing Gigacus and his miner friend reminiscence about the good ‘ol days, when bumping was a literal thing, and not just a euphemism for taking out the trash. Highsec is different now. Anyways, after he calmed down, Gigacus reinvented himself as another kind of miner. My favourite part occurs here, when he takes his pet Gnosis for a little stroll. The soundtrack is just priceless , and it really gets you into the mind of a miner, and how they approach EVE. Gross!

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Miners insist the CODE. is dead. Well, here are some bears that got extirpated between August 30 @ 00:00 EVEtime and September 5 @ 23:59 EVEtime.

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Britannic Lord fancied himself something of an aristocrat, but really he was just a common peasant. Nordwind blew him away. They also killed an Occator, a Loki, an Impel, and another Occator. Looks like a storm is brewing!

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Zuysheam didn’t realize that Aiko is burning Isanamo. His abyssal Christmas tree was erased, with a little help from Shilliam Watner.

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Emilia yekaterina just wanted free easy isk, but didn’t even know how to capitalize her own name. She was promptly evicted by Whadda Badasaz, Shadow Redemption, Aimee Tzestu, and Zigam. Hm, James really does have new friends. 

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McMahon Aivoras had a freighter, and a vision. He wanted to be a speedy express, with Shadow Serpentis Inertial Stabilizers. A special taskforce was dispatched, led by our allies Carmeth Andari, Aedaric, and Tyrek Marlinsano.

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246624 is a poorly programmed bot, and equipped its Mackinaw with five (5) Harvester drones that now belong to Zopiclone. She did the right thing, and encouraged 246624 to start trading with nullsec nomad Princess Aiko. 

Thanks for the free isk, bro!

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Bleks Penken was unaware the New Order is rapidly expanding. Volunteers are coming out of the deep, with names like Independence Day, Gallente Citizen I, Xarayac quiffin, First Gallente Citizen, Ivellious Gray, Taylor Corveau, and Momiji Tetsuyo. Hello friends, and welcome back to Highsec.

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Khartausu let Michi excavate his brain. Ulianov and mat Otsito put him down.

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Overheard in Teamspeak

“I’m humbled to be in the presence of Princess Aiko.”

“You fucking should be! Princess Aiko is the dark queen, an evil witch. People think she is the devil incarnate. They vow to hunt her down. They want to destroy her. She will destroy them. They say she is a monster. She will kill you and bathe in your skill points. I wanted to strangle and rape her, but she’s actually quite personable. The things she has done, I have read about them, it is brilliant. Those people are fucked. People want to kill Aiko, I wanted to kill Aiko, but I heard her talk and there is nothing in her voice that makes me want to kill her. I like her. She’s a terrorist, but a good woman. I used to hate CODE. Fucking HATE CODE. However, I realize now, they are teaching basic game mechanics to people who will never contribute to the game unless CODE. steps in to teach them a lesson. A harsh lesson, but a lesson they need to learn. It’s a basic service. She should be paid by CCP. I do not understand this whiteknight antiganker community. Astevon? He makes my hairs stand on end. He’s in a real-life cult, in real-life! People go grr goons grr, but why? If you don’t want to get ganked, fuck off and do better. If you are not willing to learn, to observe, then you have no place here. EVE is not a place for you. I hated CODE. so much, they ganked me, but then I realized they are funny. I moved into a wormhole. I close all the exits. I am a PvP God, but I don’t want CODE. to find my hole. Do you know how many bots CODE. uncovers? I hate EVE. I hate it so much. It ruined every other game for me. No other game has this. Aiko plays a triple game in one game. Aiko plays EVE like Magic the Gathering. Aiko is the ultimate thot, she has so many simps. You are talking to the Princess of Highsec? You are in way over your head. Most people think Aiko must be James, they cannot handle the truth. Imagine being trounced by a woman. It is such a blow to a man’s pride. We are all here today because of the spider queen. Her web is strong, very strong. Bow down to her!”

This article has 1 comments

  1. Thanks for the free isk, bro! – ‎James 315 Space

    […] Previously on James315.Space… 246624 was programmed to lose Mackinaws and Harvester drones. It became a kill of the week, but had a bonus escalation with Princess Aiko. Your official Saviourette often thinks about how much she thinks about herself, and proceeds to write about her glorious reign, because frankly it’s rather interesting. You should be doing what I’m doing, because then you wouldn’t be a poor. I’m actually trying to help. You can do this, if you have faith in the CODE. […]

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