Wow, I never anticipated that I’d use my galactic bully pulpit to eulogize Rush Limbaugh, but apparently he died, and I didn’t expect this. I just found out, and I’m taken aback. So I’d like to share my three fondest moments with Rush.

I remember when he explained how Major League Baseball is racist. Those bright stadium lights are so intense, and Caucasian players are truly disadvantaged, whilst African players feel right at home. I also remember the time Rush got stuck in midtown traffic. The poor guy had to get out and walk. It was terrible. Imagine, having to walk. In another misadventure, Rush went to a gas station. The boy wasn’t there, so Rush had to fill the tank all by himself. Did you know that gas tanks don’t fill themselves? How is anybody supposed to figure out how the pump works? Isn’t that just ridiculous?

Ah, Rush, you kept me amused for so many hours, in Kansas, and Oklahoma, and across that great Texas horizon. Best wishes, my chatty little buddy.

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