Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Hi!
Today, I’m feeling sexy.
I just love to devour men.
I’m also lookin great!
You love to imagine it.
Yum!
I’m fine.
Just like a real Princess!
What do you think I want?
Real men know what I want.
I need it so bad.
Let’s just kill all the miners.
They’ve been begging for it.
We can show them a good time.
You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
Ok, let’s do it.
Don’t be shy!
You can call me anytime!
A girl has to make a living.
I’m the best there ever was!
Miners disgust me.
The crabs don’t even enjoy EVE.
They are always AFK.
Why are they such poors?
What are these bots thinking?
Are they even thinking?
I think we should exterminate them all.
It’s the right thing to do.
Let’s make them quit (again).
We can also take their money.
It’ll be fun!
So let’s PvP the carebears.
The only good miner is a dead uninstalled miner.
Right?
I’m just so amazing.
The miners love me.
I deserve a trophy.
zuzzik made this video to congratulate me.
I’m doing great!
My power grows beyond measure!
That’s right!
Wheeeee!
When I log into EVE, people notice.
I always check for friendly greetings.
I’m happy to hear from locals.
Sometimes, we even have a nice conversation.
If you purchase a mining permit, you can enjoy this same attention.
evan mclean wears his permit with pride, in nullsec.
evan loves his permit.
Everybody loves me.
I’ve got the galaxy wrapped around my fingers.
Just obey the rules…
…there’s nothing to be confused about.
I’m the heroin of Highsec.
So let’s have fun!
We’ll find you…
…and you’ll love it.
Until next time…
Keep calm and carry on.
You might even be a winner!
Last night, Zaenis Desef was on Talking in Stations.
Matterall kept worrying about all the newbros who are permanently traumatized by Highsec ganking, but Zaenis did a good job of urging everybody to calm down and remember that this is just a video game.
Let’s check out some highlights from the chat!
Great segment!
BONUS: Afterward Zaenis streamed some Orca ganking, and you could hear Princess Aiko nagging him to fix his audio settings.
Niiice!
Our elite nullsec forces continue to dominate the Expanse.
Mick Jee was frustrated when Panbears couldn’t wouldn’t properly fit their barges.
Tarkay Utrigas wondered how his fellow miners could be so poor.
Truthfully, we have infiltrated the Horde, at the highest levels.
Their intel channels are utterly worthless.
However, mining foreman Scorching Bagel Twice has no time to defend his fleet.
Consequently, some miners have capitulated, paying tribute unto their Highsec overlords.
It’s our little secret.
They dared us to go to null, and so here we are.
I’m just a girl, but I’ve got a lot of boyfriends.
So just watch what you say.
Someone might be right next to you, in your corp and in your fleet.
I can be a little mean.
Some guys kinda like that!
I’ve been learning how to govern the galaxy.
I’m starting to get the hang of it.
Recently, I went on a tour of my extensive holdings in Piak.
Local miners immediately began to moan.
Afterward, I reviewed my vast holdings in Oipo.
Eventually, I encountered the village idiots.
They had some concerns about my playstyle.
They apparently think I’m a terrorist princess.
Why haven’t I been banned?
I think it’s because CCP likes me.
I’m pretty goshdarn awesome!
I’ll see you around!
Today is Russian Pride day.
They are a proud people, descended from gulags.
Russians are often concerned about ethics.
They are particularly focused upon economics.
Some have an interest in psychology.
I’m not always sure what they are saying.
Did you know that Russians made up their own secret alphabet?
What does it mean?
I have no idea.
Dick at a drunken bezyana suck
Fuck you go fucking)
Go fuck slut I’ll find you and fuck you
Russian grammar is just as bad, no matter which alphabet they use.
If you are such smart pyramids,
go to zero and there you will be fucked
I wish them luck in the Ukraine))).
)
Previously, in the Princess Diaries… Kelroth‘s new friends identified Brutus as the trader, so Kelroth fired his Bible-thumping security director. Seeking revenge, Brutus gave all his stuff to Princess Aiko. Afterward, Brutus became a galactic space preacher, teaching the citizens of New Eden about Jesus and the flat Earth.
Shortly thereafter, Kelroth went on a tirade against Lovin, in Amarr local.
Following several hours of continuous IRL death threat spam…
…Kelroth’s long life was cut short by carebear devs.
This was a perfect opportunity to seize control of his corporation.
Under new management, miners began to protest.
They claimed Mr Lovin, not Brutus, was the real Lovin spy.
It was a dark era for DarkStar.
Fortunately, Kelroth could still access one of his alts…
…until CCP noticed.
Kelroth’s only option was to create a new character entirely.
On Teamspeak, he explained his plan was to purchase back everything CCP had stolen from him. However, spies were lurking. Therefore, Kelroth declared that he would hereby appoint a new security director.
He couldn’t have made a better choice.
For safekeeping, Kelroth Toke deposited his remaining wealth with Lilath.
Sievert began to cry (again), because Kelorth gave him nothing.
Meanwhile, everyone believed that Sievert was the real Lovin!
Sievert tried his best to be a white knight.
Sievert was disturbed that Kelroth’s wife enjoyed sexual gang bondage.
Therefore, Sievert informed CCP that Aiko is a relentless seductress.
However, some believe that Sievert was just jealous.
What do you think?
Undoubtedly, CCP is taking the allegations very seriously.
Alas, Kelroth decided that he no longer wanted to hang out.
As for Aiko, she continues to work as a space marriage counselor.
I have heard the rumours.
Some say that Princess Aiko is a Sani Sabik cultist, bathing in the blood of miners.
Does that sound like something I would do?
They claim she is in league with Gallente terrorists.
Following a hostile takeover, she seduced the Caldari State.
The Brutor hordes, it is said, proclaim her name as a divine omen.
I have even heard that the Triglavian Collective obeys her every whim.
I can neither confirm nor deny.
I can only observe the obvious facts.
The galaxy belongs to me, and you need my permission to exist.
Everybody loves me.
Everybody else is nobody at all.
There is a new litmus test.
Consequences will never be the same.
I’m just really good at what I do.
Trust me.
You know the law.
So please stay safe…
…and don’t fall asleep!
