Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
This is how it’s done.
I’m a miner’s best friend.
I’m here to help!
I’m the best.
I’ve sure come a long way.
Would you like to know more?
That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.
Everybody knows what happened.
Sometimes, these things happen.
Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.
Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.
Feel free to join me.
We can have a lot of fun.
You know what I mean?
It’s gonna be great.
I’m Aiko!
Thanks for the support!
That’s right!
As with the old MinerBumping blog, there is often rancorous debate over who deserves acknowledgement, when, why, and how much.
As always, shoutouts are available for the low price of just 1 billion per shoutout. As an example, I will give a PAID shoutout to Bei QiAo. If I had a hat, I’d tip it, but I don’t. You are doing a great job buddy, keep up the good work.
非常好
WE NOW RETURN
TO OUR REGULAR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE
Rusell has been antiganking for awhile.
He’s not very good at it.
James 315 found Rusell amusing. I would know, because we’d stay up late at night, holding hands and talking about the blog.
James was right all along… Rusell is an odd duck. My sources in the antiganking community tell me that he has been trying to rile them up against me (me!), as a part of a campaign to literally remove PvP from Highsec.
Even dedicated antigankers find him to be an extremist.
Now that I’ve become James 315 (in real life, but not in game), Rusell has found himself orbiting me endlessly, at all hours of the day. Wherever I go, there he is! He doesn’t do much, but he is awful chatty.
Recently, I told him of my plans for an Aiko statue.
Like James before me, Rusell awaits my inevitable permaban.
Rusell positively hates me!
I’m next on his list.
Why did Rusell become a career antiganker?
He’s a very private man.
However, he recently opened up about his feelings.
He likes Notepad, and hates PvP.
We had a private conversation.
He apologized profusely.
I now have his explicit consent to gank.
He left me with one piece of advice.
If you have official private communications for the CODE. alliance (not for me), feel free to contact Aiko, and I will summarize for James 315. Such manifestos are typically rambling and incoherent, but I’ll highlight the best part.
Ok! This is a common trait.
Likewise, Coach Subway is back, and he is not easily embarrassed either.
I’m sure glad to be in my alliance.
It feels pretty darn good.
Of course, things could be better.
Those who know me, are aware I’m a little disappointed with how some people are choosing to spend their time in this alliance.
It’s most disappointing. I shall have to go all out on some modifications. However, I am proud of myself, and those of you who are doing good work. Lately, I’m thinking of Gurt, Barnes, and Aveve. If I had a hat, I’d tip it.
Someday, I will look back on this, as our era of trials and tribulations, when we had to endure every humiliation and disgrace. People thought we weren’t a real alliance, just a carboncopy of a silly meme from 2012. Apparently, there are those who just value their secret nullsec operation a little more than our unimportant Highsec alliance. All of these people will fall in line, or they will be gnashing their teeth.
CODE. always had this same problem. Some people, it seems, just don’t take pride in their alliance, because their main isn’t even it. They’ve got some other alliance, that they value more. Isn’t that right?
We will defeat the carebears. All of them.
It’s my birthright.
Oh yes, Vily. I’ll keep you nice and SAFE.
Something amazing is happening in Highsec.
Only one alliance dares to confront the mining menace.
We know exactly how to deal with miners.
We can help them all.
A dead miner is a compliant miner.
An empty belt is a compliant belt.
Just say no to mining.
It’s what James always wanted.
Cheers!
My business is Highsec business, and I mean business.
When I discovered Tathar mining in an 0.9, I was absolutely disgusted. He’s been playing since 2011, and mining in an 0.9!
I finally got his attention.
He was ashamed. However, when asked to purchase a mining permit, Tather began to extort me. He threatened to quit, unless he could mine for free!
Meanwhile, he worried I might shoot his ship (again).
Perhaps I might give it back, if he obeys the law?
Tathar wanted his ship, but he didn’t like having to pay for it. He just wanted to relax, and make isk while doing something else.
We had a little debate about governance and property rights.
I had to exert my authority.
He prophesied that EVE is dying, and it is Aiko, Destroyer of Miners, who will be the ultimate undoing of the AFK caste.
I tried one last time to be reasonable.
Some people say I’m a beeutiful witch. Bzzbzz.
That’s right. I’m a wasp.
Pay me.
It works like a charm.
It’s not roleplay.
This is serious space business.
Every few years, the Imperium evaluates the efficacy of Highsec ganking. Fortunately, we passed our audit, and The Mittani has once again acknowledged the People’s Democratic Republic of Highsec. Consequently, the ice interdiction will continue, until further notice. Meanwhile, in honour of our continued status as an independent sovereign state, I have graciously allowed CCP to use my personal seal.
I’m sure James would have loved it.
This design was produced by Zaenis Desef, and is reminiscent of similar designs by Blake McAllister and Sargon of Amerish.
Sargon’s version, some felt, was a little too good.
Blake’s idea was really the same basic concept. Zaenis and I looked at this, and discussed how we might improve it. Credit where it’s due, I never would have come up with the idea of putting myself on the alliance logo. Such hubris and vanity is far beyond me. I was perfectly happy to have James enshrined forever, in a hideous shade of orange. However, some people think it’s high time to shatter the glass ceiling, and put a woman atop our keepstar. Well, I can’t disagree, I should have called the alliance AIKO. However, I gotta say, Safety. will look pretty good on the nullsec map.
There were a number of suggestions, some that just didn’t quite match CCP’s formatting requirements. Gurt Benoit, for example, had a great idea. It was just a little ahead of it’s time. Once CCP fixes Walking in Stations, we will surely be able to permanently trap miners inside decorative bubbles.
I liked the message here, but it’s too wordy.
Dolphin Don wanted a sea theme, but it was too sexual.
Don felt we could use the logo to educate, about the dangers of mining, but we were concerned this might trigger recovering miners to relapse.
Tweeps wanted more of an early 1990s broadcast television theme, but personally I prefer pictures of myself. Can you blame me?
Before he was banned, Zuzzik portrayed me as a crystalline entity.
I thought the triangle S thing was cool (who made that?).
Globby suggested using the criminal timer.
Some submissions were good, but they weren’t the right size.
Ultimately, there were a lot of fine submissions.
Alt 00 had an interesting idea, which we could have developed further. However, Zaenis was the first to produce something with sparkly stars. Oh, how cute! 100% of the voters immediately selected his design. Subsequently, in their infinite wisdom, CCP decided to attack my fair visage with an eraser.
Why?
At first, I thought CCP was sending a warning. They didn’t do this to anyone else. No other logo has been so ravaged.
Why am I singled out for defacement, covered in dirty grime and scratches? Well, I know the reason. More than any alliance, we represent the gritty reality of New Eden. CCP has chosen us to represent their vision. Miners will never live to see the freshly painted logo. All carebears will ever see is how it looks later, when the greedy salvager scoops scrap metal into his hull, wondering who killed his friends… and why? So that’s fine CCP, if you want to scuff up my face, I’m gonna scuff up your crabs.
Regardless, people seem happy with it, not that they have a choice.
If you think it’s so amazing, join my alliance.
Together, we can save the miners!
The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78
Previously, on my blog… avia naali (aka THE GREAT LORD OF DELVE) directed the Goon armada against his cursed enemies.
I know what miners really want.
Some want erotic fantasy, and others want REVENGE.
Back in Part 10, avia sperged about his power, resulting in a 1 billion isk fine (increased to 5 billion). Behold now, never released before: the security breach notification which Aiko sent to her Goon liaison, Soviet commodore Vladimir Chakaidi.
High Starnovalord avia (aka anaCheeya ANARKY, aka ‘lil bullet, aka AGENT ANVIL) has come a long way since he first began plotting the best revenge. Today, he controls the mighty Imperium, with faction titans responding to his every whim.
Now he requested a formal meeting with senior staff.
The meeting started out well enough.
avia (aka AstevonWard OverGreer) succinctly explained his plan.
He also wanted to meet the lead FC.
This didn’t go as well.
As always, Holostar was late to the meeting.
avia decided to conclude early.
He blamed himself for wasting the FC’s time.
The war was off to a rocky start.
avia began preparing for the worst.
Perhaps it was time to join battle himself?
To be continued…
Previously, on the bestest blog in galactic history… Ann Mari’s freighter was wrecked in Uedama, and she lost 10 billion isk. Then she lost a jump freighter, and a Golem, finding herself stuck inside a vast spiderweb. The arachnid’s venom was filled with the essence of lonely miners long gone, and Ann Mari was exhilarated and titillated by a cunning plan. What if she paid the gankers to turn on their own Saviourette, humiliating Princess Aiko with erotic stories and outrageous rumours?
Indeed, Aiko has carefully studied Brer Rabbit (aka Sun Tzu).
Some people are truly invincible.
Some people always have the last laugh.
Please don’t get revenge on me.
I’m just a dumb girl. Please don’t make me cry.
In outer space, there are no limits.
Anne was shocked to learn about 2020 Fanfest.
However, behind the scenes, Aiko and Rakk were conspiring.
How many stories will Ann commission?
This blog post is sponsored by Ann Mari’s Erotic Aiko Fanfic Club.
Everyone had a story to tell.
Buttercup offered an especially humiliating tale.
However, she demanded the money upfront.
I guess it was a scam.
Suddenly, Aiko saw an opportunity…
Some people just always win.
Some people practice witchcraft.
As the New Order storms ahead into the 21st Century, we’ve rebranded and upgraded. We’ve got our own Twitter, a MySpace, and now we are on TikTok!
James 315 couldn’t possibly be prouder of me, his perfect little angel.
Here’s another video, from my recent meeting with the CSM.
Of course, some people are always dissatisfied.
13+1 has been crying about our low activity at 4 in the morning. In order to resolve this, I have delegated recruitment and training to him.
Let me be clear, 13+1, I don’t hate you. I don’t even know who you are. Yes, I sit at the table with all the cool kids, and dunk on miners. If you want to be cool, keep shooting miners. You don’t need an FC to tell you, “Kill them all!”
If you want to gank, all you need to do is follow some simple instructions. 13+1 will answer any questions you might have.
As the divine leader of a major spacefaring civilization, I no longer have any duties or responsibilities. I can do whatever, however I want, whenever I want. I am perfect in every way, infallible in judgment and beyond reproach. I’m a Princess, and I am successful simply by existing, even if I log out and disappear forever.
As there are no objections, I will conclude this post.
Goodnight!
Previously, on Princess Aiko’s #1 Best Blog… Ann Mari lost her freighter and her pod, but wasn’t salty. In fact, like Coach Subway, she’s so rich she doesn’t care. Indeed, she can get revenge by losing more isk – right?
We are always fair, and honest. If you don’t read the blog, or memorize the CODE, or appreciate all the wonderful mysterious ways that Aiko has spun a magical web across the galaxy – well, friend, that’s going to cost you.
Aiko Danuja > It looks like you ran into my Uedama team…
Aiko Danuja > Ann Mari you owe 50 billion isk, so you can pay now
Ann Mari > I’ll take my chances thanks
Aiko Danuja > They are professionals Ann. You need to take this more seriously.
Aiko Danuja > You are a convicted mining offender.
Ann Mari > Necck beards might fall at her feet…. I’m old, I’m married, I’m male…. I just do not care
MarshallTeagan > Princess Aiko Danuja is female i have heard her angelic voice.
Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme
Ann vowed that she he would never give me an isk.
To get revenge, he began sending my alts and friends all his isk and ships, in a dubious plot to make me feel left out. Before long, he was bankrupt and destitute, so he needed to convince his bank that he really wanted to throw more money into some suspicious Icelandic shell company owned by North Koreans.
After getting a taste of erotic Aiko fanfic, Ann was hooked. He needed more.
While CODE. was on autopilot, Safety. agents were hard at work.
Within my Why Was I Ganked? channel, Ann began to execute his devious plot. He would pay for erotic stories about Aiko, which would humiliate and disgrace the Princess, and NONE of the money would go to Aiko.
There was nothing I could do to stop it.
My own girlfriend betrayed me.
Ann was so delighted, he gave Alleil a generous tip.
I was humiliated, but Ann was just getting started.
Everyone had a story to tell.
The truth about Aiko was finally coming out.
Ann was going to RUIN me…
…but first, he needed more money.
To be continued…
