Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Merbles had a strange fit.
Something was missing.
In fact, his entire ship vanished.
It sure sucks to be punished.
Miners just hate bureaucratic redtape.
However, why would civilians need battleships?
He began to hurl c-words at me.
After viewing my OnlyFans, he understood I’m a real Princess.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t willing to follow the rules.
He insisted that every civilian deserves a battleship.
Does the Code regulate battleships?
Well, I guess that settles the matter.
Hello.
Sometimes, miners make mistakes.
Transgressions cannot be ignored.
The law is crystal clear.
I try to be nice.
I am a lawful good paladin.
It’s not hard to understand.
Even a noob can obey.
I’ll let you rub those rocks.
I just need you to understand one thing.
Obey, or die.
Any questions?
Comments?
Concerns?
Ok then. cYA!
Fortnite is for plebs. In a world of blind poors, the one-eyed man is king. It was thus that Lazar us declared himself a ‘professional’, and decided to up his game. He downloaded EVE, started a corporation ‘squad’, and became a BILLIONAIRE Highsec miner. Someone stole his first Orca, but Lazar continued his space adventure.
Lazar was pleased to have so many new Twitch viewers, but was disturbed by the random ships bumping into him… and the “weird” Jackdaw, Firetail, Tengu, Buzzard, and various Catalysts following him from system to system.
Hiding his location didn’t seem to help.
Lazar was beginning to suspect that EVE is a PvP game.
Before long, his friend was gone.
Carebears whine and complain, claiming that we grief and bully newbros, but we did our best to show that EVE is a worthy challenge.
Lazar appreciated this, and began renouncing his “stupid” friend, making it clear that EVE is only for the most elite gamers. Unfortunately, he judged poorly, and accepted William Rageclaw (of minerbumping fame) as his personal white knight mentor. By the way, if you haven’t read my other blog, now is a good time. Anyways, Rageclaw advised Lazar to try PvE missions, with a predictable carebear result.
Afterward, Lazar’s capsule tried autopiloting to Jita, before returning to Amarr. He raged for hours, cursing anyone and everything (including Rageclaw).
I remember the moment I sat in lowsec, listening to creepy space music, and realizing that I didn’t have a friend in the galaxy. Lazar had this same epiphany in Highsec. His newbro bluster was gone, replaced by a thousand yard stare.
Yes, EVE is a battle royale PvP game, and everyone here is either going to kill you, enslave you, scam you, disappoint you… or seduce you.
He was surprised to learn that I’m a Princess.
Like most men, he soon hit me up on Twitter.
I know how to turn boys into men.
Lazar is finally ready to play EVE.
I wish him the best of luck!
I’m just so amazing.
The miners love me.
I deserve a trophy.
zuzzik made this video to congratulate me.
I’m doing great!
My power grows beyond measure!
That’s right!
Wheeeee!
When I log into EVE, people notice.
I always check for friendly greetings.
I’m happy to hear from locals.
Sometimes, we even have a nice conversation.
If you purchase a mining permit, you can enjoy this same attention.
evan mclean wears his permit with pride, in nullsec.
evan loves his permit.
Everybody loves me.
I’ve got the galaxy wrapped around my fingers.
Just obey the rules…
…there’s nothing to be confused about.
I’m the heroin of Highsec.
So let’s have fun!
We’ll find you…
…and you’ll love it.
Until next time…
Keep calm and carry on.
You might even be a winner!
Today is Russian Pride day.
They are a proud people, descended from gulags.
Russians are often concerned about ethics.
They are particularly focused upon economics.
Some have an interest in psychology.
I’m not always sure what they are saying.
Did you know that Russians made up their own secret alphabet?
What does it mean?
I have no idea.
Dick at a drunken bezyana suck
Fuck you go fucking)
Go fuck slut I’ll find you and fuck you
Russian grammar is just as bad, no matter which alphabet they use.
If you are such smart pyramids,
go to zero and there you will be fucked
I wish them luck in the Ukraine))).
)
I have heard the rumours.
Some say that Princess Aiko is a Sani Sabik cultist, bathing in the blood of miners.
Does that sound like something I would do?
They claim she is in league with Gallente terrorists.
Following a hostile takeover, she seduced the Caldari State.
The Brutor hordes, it is said, proclaim her name as a divine omen.
I have even heard that the Triglavian Collective obeys her every whim.
I can neither confirm nor deny.
I can only observe the obvious facts.
The galaxy belongs to me, and you need my permission to exist.
Everybody loves me.
Everybody else is nobody at all.
There is a new litmus test.
Consequences will never be the same.
I’m just really good at what I do.
Trust me.
You know the law.
So please stay safe…
…and don’t fall asleep!
I can officially assure you…
…pay me 30 million isk, and you won’t have to worry about CODE.
You can enjoy Safety.
There’s no point in resistance.
That would be futile.
simpleton Cowards couldnt fight their way out of a wet paper bag.
I wonder what they think of me.
I bet we could be friends.
If not, oh well.
Regardless, I have a vision for the future of Highsec.
It’s going to be a SAFE space for ganking minorities.
Everyone else is hereby evicted.
I think you know why.
Go on, get out!
What a wonderful blog.
Miners deserve my special attention.
I have a plan for them.
I’m having a great time!
I do well by doing good.
I’m teaching miners how to stay SAFE.
Everybody is eager and ready to help.
Even CCP is pitching in.
I’m glad the miners are so happy.
Highsec life has never been so profitable.
Spaceships are just falling from orbit!
They even come from faraway Nullsec, just to enjoy the luxurious bounty.
Good job Aiko!
Miners are having a rough time.
There’s got to be a better way to grind…
Maybe they should stop trespassing in my asteroid preserve?
Remember miners, Highsec is a safe space.
Just obey the law, and everything will be fine.
It’d be a real shame, if something happened.
You never know…
Bee careful!
