Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
EvE Online is one tough game.
That’s why we help newbros!
Sometimes they don’t appreciate us.
Are miners retardado?
I think so, yes.
Oh well.
Cheerzah!
Silly miners!
These are good people, right?
Hm, maybe not.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
Miners are scrubs.
Hey-o.
Not bad.
Nice.
Ok, let’s settle down…
Everybody is winning this year!
AFK miners have never been so safe.
We have the best players in EvE Online.
This isn’t your daddy’s game!
I guess that’s another win.
See you next year…
Cheerzah!
Nate was mining.
That’s not so great great.
Always pay the ransom!
Somehow, Nate lost his Orca?
That was fine fine.
yip yip (screeeeeeeching intensifies)
The true true is this…
Any questions?
Oh no, Natenate got attacked again again.
Duh, because there’s cinnamon swirls in every bite!
That’s how we roll on EZ. Street
Hi!
I logged in, and was immediately ambushed…
It was the ghost of spring past.
Kotojo doubled my Christmas cheer.
Another happy miner.
Cheerzah!
That’s right.
THE END
Miners never understand the Gankmas spirit.
Oh well.
Anyways…
Don’t forget to claim your FREE quarter-penny unfit frigate!
BONUS CHRISTMAS SALT
Daelahn is a descendant of King Arthur.
In a PvP game, he forgot to equip a weapon.
At the station, he spoke with his arresting officer.
Everyone wants him to stay Safe.
After a cryptic warning, Daelahn resumed mining.
Well, that was predictable.
He just needs a mining permit.
Miners just want to relax.
If you bother them, you’ll be sorry!
Fortunately, they are noobs.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
Newbro S7ONE tried to mine in lowsec.
Safety agents were quick to respond.
Workaholics are not above the law.
S7ONE struggled to accept reality.
Good sportsmanship turned into a temper tantrum.
Nobody likes a green crab.
For the record, S7ONE assaulted Shekelstein Shakiel.
Ultimately, everyone had fun.
The Von MARK family boasts a starch legacy.
Unfortunately, one of them is a convicted ore thief.
He is a silly potato.
The more on propositioned us.
Gross!
Like all miners, he was a dump of Germany.
Before long, Unterplebkartoffel was frothing at the mouth.
He’s also a Nazi (which is illegal in his country).
Don tu re b uh minor.
Suddenly, the irl Nazi undocked in a ship which could shoot back!
Total Loss: $0.01
However, he forgot to shoot.
In the end, Von MARK was just another spacebully.
Miners are grumpy bears.
They are often unappreciative.
After a decade in EvE Online, Jugan was finished.
It is sad when a miner reaches their end.
However, that’s their fate!
Ok, what happened?
It all started with an illegal Orca, and his ToxicFriend.
This was a real Highsec space battle.
Eventual, things reached their inevitable conclusion.
Another glorious victory!
=BONUS TRICK=
Just then, something magical transpired…
Indeed, Ivy Bloodstar was the real villain…
It’s always a bad time to do crime.
