Hello there, friendos.
Meridia Horizon was intrigued by his own death.
I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
That’s right, miners will pay to die.
This is actually pretty normal.
No regrets!
Category: Sales
The Exanondus, Part 3
Back, by popular demand…
Previously, Exanon Alleile went on a grand tour of the galaxy.
At the end of the road, there was either a pot of gold… or nothing.
He’d been tricked seven times before, but what was in the container?
What do you think? Did Exanon win a FREE Mackinaw?
***SPOILER ALERT***
Scroll down to find out what was in the container!
***SPOILER ALERT***
Did you guess correctly?
Oh dang, it was empty!
It was time to try a BONUS lootbox.
Now this is how you play EvE Online.
Suddenly, Exanon began cursing.
FUN FACT: The recommended width of a blog image is 500 pixels — 750 max.
Damien Oxytocin tried to negotiate, but it was too late.
He could see hell, bleeding through his increasingly transparent interface.
Damien warned Exanon, that curses have consequences.
Would Exanon have mercy, and lift the curse?
Alas, it is real!
I want to continue enjoying my happy life, for at least a year.
Therefore, I rejected the upside down 666,666,666, but Exanon was not pleased.
How long will my happy life last?
The Exanondus, Part 2
Previously, on EvE Online’s #1 Best Blog…
Exanon Alleile arrived in Nakugard, to claim a FREE Mackinaw.
Exanon waited, whilst Princess Aiko spoke with Javen.
Eventually, Exanon obtained an audience with the High Heroin of Highsec.
It was decided that Exanon would tour all four empires.
Eystur – Avada = 185 jumps
At this point, a whiteknight intervened.
It was time to stop messing around.
Escrow agents reviewed Exanon’s case.
An offer was made, and accepted.
Exanon set sail for Dodixie, to claim a container.
There was just one problem.
Can you guess what was in the container?
Find out next time, on The Exanondus, Part 3!
To be continued…
Trespassing in the GBZ
CoMeader wanted Safety.
He searched for Safety.
He even bought a mining permit.
Do you think he found Safety?
***
Can you guess the answer?
***
Scroll down, to read the rest of the story!
PLOT TWIST: Safety found him!
What happened?
CoMeader is a citizen of the Caldari State.
Here’s a finer point of Highsec law.
CoMeader crossed a RED LINE, into an active warzone.
The Yulai Convention is crystal clear.
As the story of Anvent Eturrer reminds us, the Gallente Federation is not fucking around, and criminals are not welcome. Leave now or be destroyed!
New Order agents are tasked, by CONCORD, with the apprehension of criminals.
Interdimensional Ganking Forces are the only capsuleers allowed across borders.
Obey the law, or face justice!
Dear Diary
Listening to Russian Hardbass Mix by White Sky
Dear Diary,
Codename Pleb continues to whine.
Anyways, we ganked Hedliner and his Awox alt.
Grrrr Aiko, hat hat hat gunkerz.
Hat hat hat.
GARRRR GROOOOONGREEFEREEEEEE!!1!!!!
Now that’s some Pandemic salt!
Also, do you remember DKslopoke?
Now he’s blackmailing me.
I guess I’ll be banned soon?
Meanwhile, in Halaima, I bewitched the Monster from J124023!
Hey, I’m getting good at this.
Even a monster knows how to treat a Princess.
I put a spell on him.
With friends like this, I will never fail!
While antigankers cry, the people I gank are paying me))))))))
That’s right!
Party never stops
Russian through Highsec
Like it’s Vice City
Cyka blyat
Don’t be afraid of nada
Get ready for the drop
Everyday I drink
Everyday I gank
If you do the same, you are my drug
This is how we party
Easy Money
I am truly amazing.
That’s right!
Everybody is talking about me.
Sometimes, I even seduce married men.
Aiko is basically a bitchy James 315.
Do you have faith, full faith?
Prove it!
I’ll never stop!
Catch me, if you can!
I play so hard to get!
Haha.
You love it!
The Day After
EvE Online is more than just a spaceship battle royale.
It’s also a sitcom, in outerspace.
Antiganker EVERESS 88 was proud to purchase her very own Aiko corpse.
However, relations soon soured.
It all started when EVERESS revealed that the real year, in real life, is 1984. That’s right! “They” don’t want us to know the truth, but Hollywood film titles contain secret clues to the real true year of our Lord.
EVERESS was furious when Aiko told her gossipy little clique.
All of Aiko’s friends began laughing at the silly miner.
Even worse, Aiko expected EVERESS to apoligize!
EVERESS regretted her investment in Aiko’s sexy body.
The antiganker no longer wanted to give money to gankers.
EVERESS was so upset, she struggled to spell basic words.
The truth was revealed. Aiko is a BASIC BITCH and a single mom.
This went on for hours.
Eventually, EVERESS decided she was done spreading TRUTH.
*THE END*
*****
In other news, Krig Povelli helped a miner.
The miner’s security status dropped from 0.1 to -5.7!
What happened?
The Best Revenge, Part 101
The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78
Previously, in Jamestown… avia naali (aka aiva naali) became the Grand Executor of the mighty Goonswarm Federation, and was determined to crush Pandemic Horde (because they made fun of him). However, the double trader Vily invaded Delve, and avia was forced to fight a war on two fronts.
avia stalled for time, ordering Brisc Rubal’s Initiative alliance to die in Fort Fountain, so elite Goonswarm diplos could find their way through the Byzantine wormhole maze and negotiate a treaty in the ruins of Fort Knocks.
avia prepared for an evacuation to Highsec, via the wormholes.
Meanwhile, he sent some advice to Brisc – don’t let the enemy win!
From time to time, Slackbot and Princess Aiko reported to their commander.
avia contemplated his strategic options.
Before long, a decision was made.
It was obviously necessary to appoint a duke/duchess for each keepstar!
Everyone in Goonswarm was ready to pod themselves.
The Imperial Navy hid in lowsec, pretending to be desprite.
It was all a trick!
avia was particularly keen to crush PanFam Joe.
Readers of MinerBumping will recall that Joe was a regular contributor to the boisterous comments, where he revealed himself to be avia’s arch-nemesis.
avia is much smarter than PanFam Joe.
The plan was working perfectly.
It was time to pay the hardworking war council.
Forward, to victory!
To be continued…
Hey there
Hey, I’m Aiko.
People love my best EVE Online blog.
They tell me all the time.
That’s right!
I know what men want.
What do you think I want?
A girl has needs.
It’d be a real shame if you had a Safety incident.
Nobody likes a poor.
Right?
Cheers!
Top Tier
I am a top tier EVE Online champion.
Some people claim that mining permits are a scam.
The true scammers are bitterbear griefers who don’t want new players to be happy.
Let’s consider the benefits of a mining permit.
johnson Muvila bought a mining permit, after a long day of bumping.
When he was ganked, he bought an additional License ID CODE.
Aiko Danuja > Kill: johnson Muvila (Skiff)
johnson Muvila > can i ask why i was ganked? im a licensed miner 🙁
Aiko Danuja > You owe me money.
johnson Muvila > i thought i was paid off for a year?
Krig Povelli > Did you include the License ID Code?
Shortly thereafter, he lost another alt.
Once again, he had a permit.
Does this look like a scam to you?
Main miner Lucas Malukker knew how to resolve this issue.
Problem solved.
He just needed an ID CODE for each alt.
Lucas loves me, and I would never scam him.
I’m the financial dominatrix Highsec needs.
He even sent a tip.
Lucas Malukker > alright it is done your highness, i am honoured to have been able to experience the great liberation of your cause 3 times in one day and i am grateful for your benevolence.
Lucas Malukker > i do have one question though, the code is the same “DURR-315” for all 3 accounts (i appreicate the humour lol) how can you be sure nobody will copy said code and play it off as their own
Aiko Danuja > it is registered to you
Lucas Malukker > i am glad to hear it, i trust your system and hope any false prophets will be vanquished by your glorious wrath
Aiko Danuja > Yes, you should be very happy now.
Lucas Malukker > i am indeed very happy and grateful for all you have done.
Aiko Danuja > Excellent news!
Lucas Malukker > Please accept another 100m as a token of my appreciation to you Princess Aiko Danuja, for all you do and say is right
Aiko Danuja > Very well, I will accept this.
It’s not a scam!
It’s the law.
